Categories boy child chronicles, CHRONICLES


Men’s problems are not to be underestimated. They are typically silly and childish to some people but here is one thing that you should know about most men, even if they are dying it will take them a lot to open up. This now bring us to part two of our chronicles. This is a smooth story. Nothing dramatic but a little bit of the sad truth of our society.

Introducing Tonny

First of all, the name is spelt properly. Tonny is a very funny person. He is such a comedian. Every single word he utters evokes that rolling-on-the-floor kind of laughter. He is smart and very creative. He is also a lazy liar and loves procrastination. The biggest challenge Tonny has is that he is easily derailed. If I had a coin for every time Tonny has failed to go to work simply because he changed his mind whilst on his way there, I would be a major shareholder of KCB Bank today.

One thing that you will love about Tonny is that he is able to make decisions at the toss of a coin. He thinks fast and comes to conclusions even faster. Smart and decisive as he may be, he is not the best of implementors. I have seen Tonny, all suited up on his way to his sales job but he sees me in my cyber as he is on his way to work and decides to pop in. The simple gesture of walking in to say hello well turns into a full day at the cyber.

Tonny is also an incredible storyteller. Whenever he tells his tale, every man and boy, girl or woman at the cyber hangs onto every word of his story. This of course makes people spend more time on the computers and more money for me. Therefore, I am always grateful to have Tonny over. He is an incredibly good sales person, by the way. He can sell water to a fish, no doubt about that! He has a sweet tongue and that is what he has used to get his way with everything: school, women, work, friends you name it. If Tonny wants you to lend him money, you best believe, you will find yourself giving him money.

Why Tonny Never Grows Fat

Tonny is a slender man in his late-twenties. To add onto that he is in debt all the way to the neck. Whenever I think about the amount of money he owes me for his cyber visits, I get mad for a very justified reason. Did I mention that if Tonny wants something from you he will get it?

Our conversations would always refer to something about him checking his Facebook for a few minutes. We all know that you are not going to be up in that site for a few minutes. The other alternative would be, “I have just received an urgent email from a client about a payment, I am going to pay you by end of this week, I promise.” If only ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ were candy and nuts, we would all have a Merry Christmas. In total, Tonny owes various people money that he claimed would come to the tune of Kshs.300000. He has nothing to show for that debt except for his fancy wardrobe. Debts never allowed anyone to grow fat.

Messing everyone’s life

This is probably a story you have heard one too many times. It is that story where a certain someone discovers that they are HIV positive and they get so pissed and decide to infect everyone else. This is what Tonny has been doing. Tonny’s methods of making money are nothing but questionable. With bills to be paid and a father who does not care much about him, Tonny turned to ‘sponsorships’.

He masquerades as sales person but what he actual product you will never know. Remember, I told you that men will never tell you their problems even if they were dying? Tonny had disappeared from my cyber for a while. We had just gotten to the level where you become drinking buddies and you watch the game together. We were open enough, he would tell me about the girl he saw somewhere or the one that is pregnant with his child. Once he narrated his story to me, I really did feel for him.

The straw and the camel

Tonny found out that he was HIV positive when he was 22. Talk of crushed hopes and dreams. As I said earlier, it is a story that we have all heard about before. A boy engages in coitus with some lady and contracts the virus and then spreads it. The logic behind it ‘Even I was not told by the person who gave it to me’. Tonny once recounted the statistics for to me when he came to the cyber, tipsy and half soaked by the rain.

It is not a surprise that Tonny’s motto for life is #YOLO. His is a story of a young, vibrant and promising gentleman who has given up all hope for a brighter future. All care has been thrown to the dogs. All caution has been dumped in the garbage trucks. He takes risks that only a dying man would dare to take. He has been arrested only a hundred times. He has had his limbs broken or his body battered by only eight women for impregnating their daughters (or the women themselves). He has been collected in trenches having after drinking himself silly on some cheap liquor. Being infected was the straw that broke the camel’s back or in this case, Tonny’s back. Understandably so!

The world still moves on

Even with all of Tonny’s problems, the earth continues in its endless trip around the sun. The moon does not fail to make its revolutions around the earth and the patrons still come to my cyber. Life goes on. To many men, Tonny is a hero for his great job in ‘sales’, his innumerable conquests with women and his good wardrobe.

The problem is that no one knows Tonny as much as they think they do. Nobody can comprehend the immensity of his heartache. No one knows how many times he has been rejected by women. No one can count the number of times he has been turned away by potential employers in his search for employment. There is no one who knows of the multiple times his house has been locked because he has not paid rent. Those days that he calls and wants to sleep over because his house has been locked and he has no food.

Boys are trained not to talk about their challenges. They are trained not to share in their issues. This has taken a toll on Tonny’s life but you will never know because we are all in a hurry. We are too busy to notice when our friends are in pain, when our brothers are languishing in depression, when our sisters are looking down on themselves because they feel they are not beautiful enough. It is a fast-track world we live in but we are not about to make amends to that right? We have to learn to live with it. Next time I will tell you about one of the boys, except she is not a boy. Tabby is one of the coolest girls I know. You are probably asking what she is doing making her entry in Boy Child Chronicles. Please hold while we connect you to the crazy ride that is Tabby’s life. In the meantime, do not forget to comment or subscribe and tell us what you think of our story.