Guest: I DO but I DON’T

Categories CHRONICLES, Guest

By Mitchelle Bwari (Geekly Chic) 

Cutting people off is one of the safest panic rooms and they are hard to find. Believe me I know. Just think about it, choosing the right words, rehearsing them over and over, opening up, I mean it’s too much a hustle. So what do we do CUT THE TETHER LOOSE SAVE OURSELVES! Make lots of enemies, never learn to solve our issues and become the grumpy granny/grandpa across the street whose name no one knows, freaks out babies and cats.¬†

 Darling no-one will ever teach you how to express your heart ♥ 

Just like every other girl with a picket white fence dream I grab a few relationship lessons from lazy coffee nights’ Chick lit movies. I’m probably holding this Girl boss kinda vibe novel I’d said I’d complete that night, yesternight or the previous month.¬†

Julia Roberts’ “The Runaway Bride” (now this old is gold) among many many others.¬†

I think that anyone can smell a toxic relationship a mile away. It’s right in front of you the hot temper, scarred face, violence, blood shot eyes, enraged look veins popping hot blood curdling grip type of guy¬† ,or the clingy self-centered spendthrift girlfriend who’ll probably poison your coffee every morning (slow death =take the cash )or kill you in your sleep… Either or worse.¬†


The PERFECT MATCH, makes the stars look brighter, birds chirp, a toast to Cupid’s arrow…best shot ever, their words feel like they were written just for you, more often than not they scream TOXIC louder and bigger than a Rick Ross concert billboard (on that note if you got the tickets HMU will you) .

Makes calling it off  easier said than done, you hold on perhaps too long, forgive more until they cross the line and you flip. 

Sometimes love goes behind your back but that’s how we find ourselves. Out of the mess they make.¬†

Here’s a little piece of advice I like to call “When I DO¬†but¬†I¬†¬†DON’T”¬†

 Always say what you mean

I adore self respect. Speaking your mind makes you the bigger person. You have the right to feel every ounce of emotion in you. Letting in your partner on your inside thoughts helps you get the other side of the story and make a stand on that basis. Simple, real and clear.  

¬†There’s a thin line between toxic love and true love¬†

If your partner doesn’t support your goals, you try to change them into someone you’d love better than who they are, they send you a billion love quotes to compensate for not being there or not texting for ages, if you’re always second guessing your position, you can’t say anything different about them the rest of the world doesn’t know (like she hates mayonnaise on her boorewhores or he thinks pizza and milk is a perfect combo lol weird but I like him anyway) ,they are not sure about their feelings for you, they are the last person you tell about your goals they’ll discourage you, there for you in crisis never in joyful events… Perhaps it’s time you go back to the drawing board¬†

True love is about being each other’s cheerleader, embracing individuality 

Know who you are 

Are you happy? What are your priorities? We don’t always meet people at their best. Sometimes we meet the perfect match when life has dragged them or us¬†down, at their or our worst. Recreate and fix yourself. The purpose of love is not to make you whole, be whole independently you’re not anyone’s baggage claim¬†


  1. Your partner may help you get back to your feet ITS OK.. however ¬†It‚Äôs hard dating who hasn’t settled odds with their past. It’s okay not to commit…they need a lil ‘me’ time more.¬†

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first. It’s not selfish you deserve the love and pity you give others.¬†

¬†Know your partner’s tactic¬†

Chances are they’ve learned you enough to know how to draw you back. Manipulation, guilt tripping etc master them be a step ahead of their brain wash

 Do have a support group 

Your girlfriends and guy friends are the best wing men. They give the best advice and snap talks too ,when you’ve messed up. They’ll love you and attend your 5th wedding¬†¬†after a billion divorces. Let their advice guide you in making your decision, don’t forget to be independent. It’s your life don’t give away too much power.¬†

¬†Don’t stress the little stuff¬†


Be you. If they like it cool if they don’t no problemo.

Your fear is the most boring thing about you I dare you take a risk. 

“Wanna go out? “

A.Yes(cool awesome) 

  1. Nah(okyy cool  now you know) 

¬†Don’t say yes to a proposal you are not okay with

¬†Take time to really know your partner and what you’re getting into. Relationships don’t have a time stamp. And couple that has grown in an year could be stronger than one that has¬†in 3 years. It’s different with each person.


Finally, calling it off may not feel like a log’s just been taken off your back, it can be the lousiest feeling…There’s beauty in a stand you make for YOU.


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